16 October, 2010

Driven interests

Okay, I've been very lazy the past weeks - sorry about that. There's just something that life in a foreign-spoken world with courses that make you have a 80-hour work week do to your writing. To remedy the situation, here's a piece I gathered from my backpack, finally typed in digital form now:

I admire people with drive. With passion. I admire those of you who can put in hour after hour for their cause. I would want to be one of you. I'd like to find that mental state, where you're prepared to go to hell and back just for the sake of it. Just for that small step forward.

On the other hand, I know that kind of single-mindedness isn't just for me. My problem is I want a piece of everything. Like no in Graz, I'm currently studying how to design railroad tracks, how much camber you need to have in a curve and why two single-track tunnels are better than one with two tracks.

So far my studies have sure been interesting, but for different reasons than usually. Sometimes I feel like a detective out of a Stieg Larsson novel as I weave, twist and google my way midst the course material, online dictionaries and every even remotely helpful website I come across. Sometimes a page of study material auf Deutsch feels like a two-mile crawl in mud, but once you make it through - oh, the euphoria sometimes resembles that of actual sports.

It sound like I'm a 6-year-old at a buffet table and frankly sometimes I feel like one too. But hell, I'd rather be an excited kid than a bored and depressed "grown-up", whatever that euphemism stands for.

But still the question remains. Something isn't everything, but can everything be something? Maybe you can be driven by variety as well? Maybe a piece of it all is as good as all of one piece.

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